Every time I am on an airplane

I feel like this time it will crush

And my life will end

I am not that afraid of dying

But it would be sad 

Because I will be studying this semester

I have so many future plans

I have so much hope for so many things

I wanna at least have an old friend

Like a grandma to me

I just wanna meet at a park

I just hope this pilot knows what he is doing

And hope that a terror group won't take over 

Family business

Today was tough

I needed to make desicions

And then take action

But I didn't know what to do 

And i  worried and worried

Actually, probably for nothing

I went outside, to the balcony

It was afternoon

And then my cousin (10) came after

And he was all smiling, I was grumpy

I knew he wanted to play volleyball

He was bored of all these adult things

That we talked about all day with my parents

I didn't know but I too was, bored...

Then I looked at him

And he looked at me

He went inside

I turned around 

Began to think

WAIT A DAMN SECOND

I AM DOING THE SAME THING MY OLDER COUSINS DID

WHICH I'D PROMISED I WOULDN'T DO TO MY YOUNGER COUSINS WHEN I GROW UP

I now understood why they were sad or angry

And that these times were tough

But my cousin will never be 10 again!!

He will grow too...

I run straigt to him, to his room

I opened the door, very ironically slowly

He looked at me, sad

I slowy closed the door.....BUT then opened it very fast and WIDE and jumped to him

And said "yeah, wanna go and play volleyball? We can take our brothers with us too." 

He was so happy

We played, and then went swimming

I was lauging and smiling all the time

When I went home my dad was stressed

And I wasn't 

It stressed HIM

So I began to stress again

We argued, and I said 

"No, I'm not gonna be like this anymore

Like YOU

I wanna be smiling and not worrying too much

I don't wanna think about this (Ikea, bed, school) anymore

We did everything we can, and now we wait 'till tomorrow

Tomorrow will show us!

And please act with patience

Cuz I don't have patience to be anxious anymore"

I wish I had cousins like me

Mine would be sad, and go to their room

Then I would be sad

And no one would cheer me up...

BrUh...JEEzzzZzzZZZ

Why am I having an identity crisis?

Why am I having an identity crisis?

Why am I having an identity crisis?

Why am I having an identity crisis?

Why am I having an identity crisis?

Why am I having an identity crisis?

Why am I having an identity crisis?

Why am I having these thoughts?

Why am I having these thoughts?

Why am I like this, this, like this?

Like, why do I like girls?

Why do I like girls?

Why do I like boys?

Why do I hate boys?

Why do I like and hate boys?

Why do I love girls and boys at the same time?

Am I not old enough to have figured these things out?

I am bi, and people should accept it, but I can't even accept it myself!

Because I hate that people will hate me!

If they see me kissing a girl for example!

Most people will hate me...

My relatives will...

Others, the society, and then

In the end, I will hate me...

I felt that before...

Other people staring

Looking disgusted

Talking from my back

Hating me from my back

For no reason

But now high school is history

And college is a mystery

And this summer is a gift

And its a present...

I shouldn't worry about these things

This summer I will have fun

I will try to find out who I am

Who I really am

I will have a lot of time in collage

To find out who I am and

Some ethical dilemmas later

Maybe I will find out

But untill then

Im a confused girl

Who likes to say Bruh and jeez

XDXDXDXD