It has been so long since we talked

It's been so long

I didn't even ask

Just a video

Just a look

At what we did

And who we were

When we were young

And dumb, but together

I really missed all of it

But i knew it, i knew you

No you are somebody

That I don't know but want to

Maybe I will call you someday

Talk about how hyperactive we were

And how much fun we had together

Because it is not enough to text

There is so much to talk about

We joked about how alike we were

When we were young and dumb

Bu maybe we were not so dumb

Now we didn't even know but

We studied the same major 

We will have the same jobs

And we didn't even know..

Maybe universe is telling us

We are still alike

I really hope so...

I feel lost

It has been a while since I wrote here

There was so much to do and

So much to live

I think I missed writing here

I do feel a little lost,

Lost my desire

Lost my will

Lost of words

I do not know why

Maybe because I got a sickness now

It's chronic, I made peace with it now

I do get treatment and I hope it works

Everyone got worried at first

But now it is settled

and I am used to it 

I am allright 

right?

None unpunished!

There was a war going on

A genocide against the jews

Nazi did it

And when it was finished

They apologized

Then they had to get

The jews out of europe

Cuz' they secretly knew 

It would be a disaster

To have them in their own

European lands

So they gave the land they didn't own

They gave palestine away

And it was not their right to do so

But they did it

And the new land was called Israel

After all these years

Israel is now doing the same thing

To mostly muslim, Palestinians

Nazis before did to them

And they didn't learn a lesson

I STONGLY REPEAT

THEY DID NOT LEARN, ANYTHING!!

Now, I don't know what will happen

Only GOD knows

But I know that this will be punished

Mostly jews, Israelians

Will be punished

In a way that we all will be watching

Or will be experiencing

Because we got BLOOD in our hands!!

My heart is not in ease at all

It is very uncomfortable

It is EUROPE and USA 

Who sent the jews to the middleast

With or without knowing

That NO ONE CAN OWN A THING

In this world

We DIE AND WE GO EMPTY HEANDED

It doesn't matter for them

The west thouth they OWNED palestine

They gave it away to the jews

But Nah Nah Nah

They just got BLOOD on their hands

And that darling

is the WORST thing

You can do

and be silent about

I just really want

Them to know

Nothing will be left

Unpunished!

a pearl blue

I am traveling again

I went to see my parents

They are fine, the same

But I am not

I have changed

More than I knew

Now I am leaving

Don't want to listen to

A song or something

Cuz I am afraid

I will start to cry

The sea is blue

A real pale blue

Just like me

But I wanna be white

Just like the clouds

For that I must be warm

And it's not that easy

But when I meet the sun

I may be like the clouds

Swimming up on the sky

Real pearl white

I am waiting

I will be waiting...

You think I am gone cuz I left

But I am in threes I am in the wind

I am everywhere all around

And you cant catch me now

I wanted to go back

You cant catch me now

I was gonna go back

To my memories

My old life

Myself

You cant cath me now

I wanted to

But you could catch me

And I dont want it to be

I just dont understand

How they can be so unemphatic

Pathetic dumpass liars

I dont understand how they like

The money they get from my tears

From a thousand of tears

They get power and money

And be glad?

I will never understand

moving through space and time

Life is fast these days

I see everything around me

But I am moving slowly

I wish I could understand why...

Waiting for something takes

Many years to me

When it actually takes some minutes

So maybe I shouldn't wait

Yeah, if I won't wait

Maybe time would go as normal

But I wouldn't know 

Faster or slower, it goes

Me and time, we can't agree

We just move

Just like space moves

Through time

I move just like it 

Cuz I take space in this universe

And I love it

little rice in the brain

These days I am changing

Constantly, like acceleration

An object has an acceleration 

Only when its speed is in change

I am fast sometimes

Or I was very fast

Now I slowed down

Before I would cry 

I couldn't stop it, I would want to

But I couldn't

These days I can't cry

I want to, but I can't

Not longer than some seconds

Then I ask,

What is happening?

Am I changing again?

And I got the answer 

When I opened this blog

YES, I AM

Every time I write here I change

Or I am in a phase of acceleration

Things feel not real

I don't know what to do

I am overthinking and it 

Lead to, me being overwhelmed

If i could just let my mind be free

Just for once, without a care

I care too much about everything

I wish I was more careless

But I see people and their carelessness

And feel like I  just can't be 

another domino brick like them 

I gotta be different and not fit in

Because I can't, litteraly

And it's totally fine, but I feel lost

Am I making a wrong desicion

While I fall in love?

Will there be difficulties...

Not simple, but core differences 

That will lead us to break up?

Beacuse, THERE ARE CORE DIFFERENCES

Like our beliefs

And our lifestyle

Actually we have the same lifestyle

But not the same ambitions

Or the same stubbornness

I work work work

He sleeps, chills, eats

I eat work work chill sleep 

He works eats works sleeps

We start to be like eachother

And it's a good thing

But I am questioning everything

I don't know if this is a good desicion

I might never know though

Do I love him?

Yes, with my everything.

What is this voice inside my head?

It is me, asking reasonable questions

I should listen, but I don't need to worry.

As I said, These days I am changing

Just like every day

All the time

That's life isn't it?