little rice in the brain

These days I am changing

Constantly, like acceleration

An object has an acceleration 

Only when its speed is in change

I am fast sometimes

Or I was very fast

Now I slowed down

Before I would cry 

I couldn't stop it, I would want to

But I couldn't

These days I can't cry

I want to, but I can't

Not longer than some seconds

Then I ask,

What is happening?

Am I changing again?

And I got the answer 

When I opened this blog

YES, I AM

Every time I write here I change

Or I am in a phase of acceleration

Things feel not real

I don't know what to do

I am overthinking and it 

Lead to, me being overwhelmed

If i could just let my mind be free

Just for once, without a care

I care too much about everything

I wish I was more careless

But I see people and their carelessness

And feel like I  just can't be 

another domino brick like them 

I gotta be different and not fit in

Because I can't, litteraly

And it's totally fine, but I feel lost

Am I making a wrong desicion

While I fall in love?

Will there be difficulties...

Not simple, but core differences 

That will lead us to break up?

Beacuse, THERE ARE CORE DIFFERENCES

Like our beliefs

And our lifestyle

Actually we have the same lifestyle

But not the same ambitions

Or the same stubbornness

I work work work

He sleeps, chills, eats

I eat work work chill sleep 

He works eats works sleeps

We start to be like eachother

And it's a good thing

But I am questioning everything

I don't know if this is a good desicion

I might never know though

Do I love him?

Yes, with my everything.

What is this voice inside my head?

It is me, asking reasonable questions

I should listen, but I don't need to worry.

As I said, These days I am changing

Just like every day

All the time

That's life isn't it?

Heartbeating

I feel like days go so slow in your absence

But they pass as fast as normal

It feels like I am wasting them tough

Every day without you is a waste of time

But I won't say it to you

 I'll just write it down here

And wait for your return

I wish there was a way to teleport me

Into your big soft arms

Where I feel most at peace

I wish i couls kiss your eyes

Your deep ocean blue eyes

And I wish I could kiss your lips

Your strawberry pinkish red lips

Untill I see you again

All I can do is try to enjoy life

While I ache to talk to you

While I ache to hug you

While I ache to kiss you

And the most heartbreaking 

And heartwarming thing is

That you feel the same...

Missing

In English we say: 

I miss you and 

I can't wait to see you.

But in poetry we say:

The days stretch like 

how the sea stretches endlessly 

when traveling by the sea 

Each one aching with your absence. 

Each one aching without you.

My heart holds its breath, 

counting down moments until I get to see you again,

When the horizon fades, I see you, and

When distance fades, we are whole.

everything is entropy

I thought I could be better

But I realized that I can't

Maybe being myself is enough

I don't need to be more

Sometimes you got to let it go

Let it flow cuz' life is not

A thousand years for us humans

We only roughly have a hundred

We should live it as good as we can

The circumstances are weird

Some people are born in the middle

Of a war and some are born into

The richest families in the world

I don't know why the world is so unfair

Why it's so cruel and sometimes meaningless

But that's why I wanna believe in a afterworld

There must be one, because I don't like this one

I hate this world and love it so much

It is good but very bad at the same time

Can be very cruel but very heavenly too

And I don't like it

But I like it

I just want everyone to behave themselves

And don't kill other people

Or just live life simple

And smile and live you know!

So many people shoot other people

WHY?

SO MANY KILL EACHOTHER FOR WHAT?

ThEiR hOnOr well FUCK THEIR HONOR

I don't understand the concept or the need of it!

Can't we just live this short life and pass in peace...

Maybe nothing can be better...

Neigher me nor the world...

Entropy says that everything goes towards chaos

A system that is in order will always

ALWAYS SEEK FOR CHAOS

Maybe that's why

Maybe thats why...

Sometimes I want a house that

Has the best location

And that has a wonderful view

Because I would love to see

The same amazing view

Every day I wake up

Right?

But also

I would get bored after a while

It would be normal for me 

After a while

So actually

Absence of that view

Would make me want to go out

And when I see an amazing view

I would be amazed more

I think I can connect this with

Being with people you love

Sometimes you need some distance

To appreciate eachother more

When you meet up again...

I miss him so much

But it will be worth it 

When we meet again

When i'll meet his amazing view

I will be amazed more than I ever would

Because I miss him...

Min amethyststein

Du er som en amethyststein

Folk tror du er bare en vanlig stein

Men hvis de kan finne 

det som er inn i steinen,

Det som er inn i deg

Det skjønne som skinner

Da skjønner de hva du er

Hvem du er og hva du gjør

Fordi du er som en amethyststein

Du skinner bare for

De som finner deg 

Ruby and Sapphire

The way you looked at me

With your sky blue eyes

They said many things

Some i understood

But some i didn't

You're mysterious

And I want to understand

I think we just need time

And I don't want to forget

Your beautiful smile

So I will do everything

To make you smile.

You're sapphire

To my ruby

And I want you

To be happy ...