I've been thinking a lot lately
about something that bothered me
all my life...
I don't feel quite at home
Anywhere I go
I realized that I'm searching
For that feeling
Again and again
Sometimes I feel it just for a second
Then it vanishes
I don't feel like I belong here
I just realized that when I'm dreaming
I feel a belonging
This is why I don't wanna wake up
The only thing that I did not leave
Or that did not leave me
are my dreams
Knowing that everything around me is temporary
Terrifies me
But also
Since I will leave at some point
I know that I have to make the best out of it
And live in the moment
But at the same time
I don't wanna do anything
Cuz I will leave anyways
This dilemma was always in my mind
It might be in my mind forever
I am used to it, so that's not the problem
The problem is...
I don't know what to do
I'm confused
But what I do know is
That, in order to live
I have to keep going
So doing nothing
Is a source of depression
That's what I've learned
Until now.
woow. damn. this is really philosophical!! I love how you explain this sensation in a way that i can understand it, but as you know; I will never quite understand it since i've never really felt what you do, though i have often felt like i dont belong anywhere too. I'm detached from places somehow. You're not alone in feeling like you dont belong. I'm really happy that you are understanding yourself more every day that goes by, although like me you are probably feeling more confused every day as well. We are our own mysteries. Listen to the song "somewhere i belong" by Linkin Park, maybe it will fit your mood :)
ReplyDeleteIm running to my headset rn hjsdhsghjdfghdf imma listen to that
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