Kindness will change the world

I wish I could say how much I love you

I can not put it into words

Even if I would say that to you

That would make things a lot harder for you

This is why I am silent

I trust time to make me feel better

Despite not knowing if I got any time left

I feel like wasting it

I shouldn't be stressed about this

Neither be impatient

Life just finds a way to make me 

stressed and impatient though

This lowers my quality of life

My well being

My mental health

My whole situation

I shouldn't make a big issue out of this

But so, why can't I stop thinking about you??

I just want to stop thinking about you

Maybe then I can concentrate on the tasks to be done

I just want to think about you

Maybe then I can free myself from this pain

As you may have realized,

I am so confused

I may rest for a while

After all exams and finals

I will set myself free

Maybe then I can think properly

About things happening around me

Maybe then I can act a little bit more normal

Because i know that people don't see me as a normal person

They would talk to me normally if they thought so

Or, what am I writing

They are the insane ones

I am the one trying to be nice to them

What do I get in return?

Being ignored

Silently excluded

Seeing me as a minority

Thinking that they have power

Thinking that I am lower

Gossiping around about my grades

Gossip about every f'*cking thing I do

I do not listen though

I do not have eyes

I do not have ears

I do not want to see or listen

This is why I survive 

Still.

Why am I writing so dramatically?

Because I am kind of sick of not being dramatic!

This is a F*CKING PROBLEM and if you don't want to read it

Then don't f*cking care!

Life is not easy, OK?

It is tough, and writing my thoughts here 

actually makes life bearable 

Or else I'm literally gonna explode

I can't tolerate this anymore

It has been 5 years

Since people looked at me with weird faces all the time

Since they excluded me and ignored me

I remember in my home country

Being in a class, and having a lot of friends

I was never popular 

I never wanted to be popular to be honest

I never ever liked popular school kids

I was always climbing up on trees

Or running around with my friends

Asking people if they need help

Try to talk to people who were being ignored

I was always by their side

I was kind

And I know that one day

Kindness will change the world

Have a great day

If you read this

Future me, I hope you are doing well

I hope you don't feel alone

Because the truth is

You are not

You were never alone

And never will be

Because there will always be bossy people around

And you will ask them politely to be polite

If they won't want to cooperate with you

I know you will kick their ass

I mean verbally XD

There will always be a younger version of yourself

Trusting you, helping you, supporting you, cheering you up

So trust me, trust yourself

Everything's gonna be okay

Everything's gonna be all right

Breathe.

Breathe..

Breathe...