I haven't been writing for a while

It feels like everything is going so fast all the time

I just came from work now...

Yeah it is 11 pm

I'll go to work tomorrow at 7 am

And then go to the cinema with my brother at 4 pm

After that, I will go to a party at 8 pm

And after the party,

I will be dead...exhausted

Anyways after that day 

I will work again from 3 pm to 10 pm

(in the meantime

some internet friends of mine

will never let me go

they wanna talk to me all the time

and I don't really speak to them that often

I just want to have them as friends

But not really close

And how can internet friends actually be 

very very close to you, right? 

The only thing I want is one or two 

That is close to me..)

After work, I will sleep

god I hate sleep, and I need it.

I will meet that friend

I actually don't really want to meet

but she won't understand it at all...

Cuz I actually want to meet her... 

this is complicated...

I want to meet her

when I am free...

but not like, "when I have time"

its when I am free in my mind

that I don't have to worry about things all the time

That I don't have anything to do other than to meet her that day

But she has been asking to meet me for three months now

I said that I was not free, cuz I got exams

But every time she asked it was giving vibes like

"Will we ever meet at all??" 

and I wanna say no sometimes...

No, I don't wanna meet anyone 

for a while

I wanna be alone

I wanna have nothing to do

lay down on my bed

think about deep stuff 

and listen to music...

That's all