The problematic dark wintery season

Uncertainty makes me feel empty

I used to predict how thing would go 

Before

Now I feel like I can't anymore...

Things are getting hard 

Both in school and life

Is this because 

I come of age?

Now my life looks like

School, eat, homework, sleep

And you can repeat it

For 5 days

I wanna paint

I wanna play guitar

I wanna hang out with my besties

I wanna watch some series

But mostly I wanna read books

Now I have hardly time 

For any of that

I feel sad 

But I like school and homework too

I used to like it at least

Before

Now I feel like it is just overwhelming 

Things are hard now

I am struggling every day 

I can't find solutions easily 

Words can't explain how terrified i get

But every problem has a solution anyway...

The sun rises after a very dark night too...

There is spring after winter...

Am I in the problematic dark wintery season?

Maybe I will be in this season for a while?

It's allright though, these problems are much better than doing just what I like...

Because you can cry if you laugh too much also...

You can get bored by listening your favorite song on repeat for a week...

You can gain too much weight if you eat too much chocolate...

I will find a balance 

At the end

I will, I know

I believe in me

Untill then,

I will be waiting for the beautifully shining summery season...