For the first time in my blog career

I opened the paper

And I have no idea what to write

It's like, there is so much to write 

Everything is happening so fast

And I need to get this out 

Well, it turns out that my family and I

We are not that well getting along

I can't share everything with them

I don't feel free to speak

I gotta say "yeah, yeah..I'm fine..

Regular old..surviving"

I feel like, they don't really wanna know

They got their own lives

I've got mine now

I just...

I just have...

no one to share it with...

And it's a little bit boring I guess

Like all the walls are getting near me

Nearer and nearer, making me nervous

I feel trapped in this state

I don't think anyone cares

I feel like no one cares about me

And I fit in, in a way

But also I litteraly DON'T fit in

At all...

I don't know what to feel at this point

Because I should be happy

I dreamt about this

Now it is happening

I am not sad though

I just feel empty

I didn't hug anyone for some time now

I love hugs and kisses

I guess I miss them

Very much

A boy touched my shoulder today

I was in this jazz club

And like, I litteraly wanted to hug him

BUT I JUST MET HIM 

I think that sums up how much I miss hugs

Maybe what I lack is love

Affection and someone 

who understands me

This is a new life, so it is normal to be lost

I know no one and 

now I get to know people

I will know them in a while

And this will be my new normal

But this emptiness

I know it

It's just me, 

Being the enemy.

In my own story 

Again...