I got that feeling again

I don't know if i wanna write this

But I feel something I can't understand

Maybe I can help myself if I write it down

I watched a movie called "jack"

Robin Williams is playing the protagonist

I recommend it wildly

The plot is that Jack is a spectacular boy

his body grows very fast, while his brain is just the same

for example, when he is just 10, he looks like a 40-year-old man

So he is very old when he is 17

He will die, right?

And I start thinking that I will die too

Sooner or later everyone will die

But I got that strange feeling

Saying "nothing really matter, 

You will die anyways"

People are afraid of things they do not know

Death is one of the things we know almost nothing about

I mean, what happens to our conciousness

What happens when we die?

There are religions, telling...

But I just can not understand.

My soul doesn't want to die

It wants to live forever

So why do we die then??

I learn physics and chemistry in high school

But I won't learn biology

It is kinda because 

Biology is about what is happening with our bodies 

and other organisms' bodies

I feel like it is terrifying 

How I can breathe

How I can talk

How I can choose

while other animals just eat, fight, give birth, and die

I can enjoy life

I can hate life 

I can miss

I can kiss

Very confused right now

And emotional

I can't wait 'till the day I die

Just because I wanna learn what it is

But at the same time, I don't wanna...

What is this?

Literally...