Empty

One can not see,

What is not to be seen..

One can not smell,

What does not stink..

One can not listen,

What does not speak..

But one can feel,

What is not in place..

One can feel the pain,

When it's not there...

YOLO

I feel it from my head to my feet

Sitting down doesn't even help anymore

I'm so, so tired that I wanna sleep

Even if I am not a fan of sleeping

I am super exhausted

To be honest

This job is nice

I like my job

Working is what 

keeps me alive

I feel worth

Helping people

Seeing the joy in their eyes

Catching it while they are

still alive

Sure, it is exhausting

But also healing 

Reminding me that

You only live once

So live your life!

Cuz one day

You will be like them

Old and ugly

With a pure hearth

Even if you don't wanna be 

a burden

Then you will die

But everything continues

Blossoms are blooming

Rain is raining

People are talking

But you are forever sleeping

That's what keeps me alive

To know that I will sleep at last

So why sleep now?

When I could live...

Lucid Dream

I am not sure what creativity is

But i feel creative right now

Maybe it's an enzyme that my brain releases

When I am actually asleep

Which is the reason i see

All my "creative dreams"

Oh, subconscious mind

I wish i could talk to you

Send you some hidden messages

That i wanna control my dreams

I did that once

It was wonderful

Once i realized that i was in a dream

I made myself a cartoon character

Ladybug 🐞

Then there was a villain

I stopped the villian 

And since i know who hawkmoth actually is

I beat him up

Went out on a date with adrien 

Then i said to him that i was ladybug

He was shocked

Everything ended when his mother came

I explained him everything

Then i saw the expression on his face

I was at peace

I woke up

It was a dream

I knew it was

While i was in the dream

It was wonderful

Didn't even try to do it

Randomly saw a lucid dream

I wish i could do that again...

3 am

It's 3 am

I am tired

Kinda?

I can't sleep

It feels like i dream about

My subconscious 

Every night

I don't want to dream...

I don't want to see paris

While the bombs are falling down...

I don't wanna see Samsun

While the city is burning...

I don't wanna see the sea

While i'm drowning in it...

I don't wanna suffer anymore

While I'm sleeping...

A pattern in a harmony

What is magic actually?

Magical things do not happen in real life

This is what we say

"There is always a logical explanation"

This is what The Oxford Dictionary says But

"the power of apparently influencing events 

by using mysterious or supernatural forces."

But what if magic was real

It has to have a logical explanation

Some new laws of physics to learn

But if we could learn these new lowes of physics

Magic would be logical

Ergo, magic wouldn't be magic anymore

It would be a phenomenon that we see 

as a "normal event"

Like, isn't it actually magical that it's raining?

water drops just falling down, up from the sky?

Isn't white snow levitating, magical?

Isn't love, that can make you feel any emotion, magical?

Isn't wind blowing from all possible directions, magical?

Aren't we all magical?

Some say, No 

Some say, Yes

Some say both...

I'm on the side of both...

In my perspective, everything is magical

The first thing I say when I look at something is "WoW!"

I won't care if it's ugly, beautiful, crazy, or disgusting

It is just magical that, that thing exists, right now...

Yeah, that thing has to have a logical explanation...

it is following a law of physics

Physics is that you can predict if something is going to happen

Because it is the way it happens all the time

For example, gravitation is something that pulls you to the ground of the earth

If you hold a pen up in your hand and release it,

the pen will drop.

This is what we predict and what happens when you drop a pen, it falls.

Maybe everything is not magic...Maybe magic is some events 

that doesn't follow any lowes of physics

But in our world, every event must have a physical explanation

If so, this is why we don't have any magic in this world

Because magic won't follow the laws of physics

But if magic exists

Everything has to have a logical explanation, 

So magic would have a logical explanation too.

Then the question occurs!

How logical are the lows of physics actually?

Can everything be both logical and magical?

The pen is falling down because there are no forces stopping it from

being attracted to earth's core

which is a compressed mass

And masses attract other masses, that are lighter

How logical is that now?

Everything attracts each other then...

Everything that exists has a mass

Their attraction levels are different

This might be about how many particles is there

in a specific point

Let's say there are two specific points 

One of them contains more particles than the other

Then the one with the most particles is attracting the other one

Let the specific points be planets...

I guess it makes sense...

But why is a planet turning around a sun that has a huge mass?

What is that circular movement?

I did not have physics class for so long

I might be wrong

But I believe that it "looks" like planets are turning around suns in our dimension

There might be other dimensions where we actually are just falling into the sun

And visually it makes more sense...

What I want to say is that...

I believe everything is magic

But we are smart enough

to find logic in the magic

A pattern in a harmony 

I haven't been writing for a while

It feels like everything is going so fast all the time

I just came from work now...

Yeah it is 11 pm

I'll go to work tomorrow at 7 am

And then go to the cinema with my brother at 4 pm

After that, I will go to a party at 8 pm

And after the party,

I will be dead...exhausted

Anyways after that day 

I will work again from 3 pm to 10 pm

(in the meantime

some internet friends of mine

will never let me go

they wanna talk to me all the time

and I don't really speak to them that often

I just want to have them as friends

But not really close

And how can internet friends actually be 

very very close to you, right? 

The only thing I want is one or two 

That is close to me..)

After work, I will sleep

god I hate sleep, and I need it.

I will meet that friend

I actually don't really want to meet

but she won't understand it at all...

Cuz I actually want to meet her... 

this is complicated...

I want to meet her

when I am free...

but not like, "when I have time"

its when I am free in my mind

that I don't have to worry about things all the time

That I don't have anything to do other than to meet her that day

But she has been asking to meet me for three months now

I said that I was not free, cuz I got exams

But every time she asked it was giving vibes like

"Will we ever meet at all??" 

and I wanna say no sometimes...

No, I don't wanna meet anyone 

for a while

I wanna be alone

I wanna have nothing to do

lay down on my bed

think about deep stuff 

and listen to music...

That's all