8 years ago today...

 My real name's meaning in English is 

"beautiful like a moon"

but it's not so great translated

in Turkish it is

"a piece from the moon, very beautiful woman"

Now, I don't really think I'm so beautiful

But I love that my name is related to the moon

Moon, the hole of light

I love talking to her

She lightens up my darkness

I tell her my darkest secrets,

What I long for and what I'm scared of...

You know what I miss?

I miss a friend of mine

I am writing as if I am talking to the moon now

I miss her so much

But I know that she doesn't

She's totally over me

She was over our friendship already in 2018

But I missed her and my normal life

Today, I got a notification that said

"8 years ago today." 

I started crying, it was my friend and me

making a face mask and using carrots on our eyes

because I didn't have any cucumber at home XD

That was sooo funny, and I miss that feeling

True love and true happiness

I hope that happiness hits me like a bullet in the head again

I really miss it

It's not that I am not happy

I really am

But I see that I began to fake happiness, to make others happy too

That's really unhealthy