It has been so long since we talked

It's been so long

I didn't even ask

Just a video

Just a look

At what we did

And who we were

When we were young

And dumb, but together

I really missed all of it

But i knew it, i knew you

No you are somebody

That I don't know but want to

Maybe I will call you someday

Talk about how hyperactive we were

And how much fun we had together

Because it is not enough to text

There is so much to talk about

We joked about how alike we were

When we were young and dumb

Bu maybe we were not so dumb

Now we didn't even know but

We studied the same major 

We will have the same jobs

And we didn't even know..

Maybe universe is telling us

We are still alike

I really hope so...

I feel lost

It has been a while since I wrote here

There was so much to do and

So much to live

I think I missed writing here

I do feel a little lost,

Lost my desire

Lost my will

Lost of words

I do not know why

Maybe because I got a sickness now

It's chronic, I made peace with it now

I do get treatment and I hope it works

Everyone got worried at first

But now it is settled

and I am used to it 

I am allright 

right?

None unpunished!

There was a war going on

A genocide against the jews

Nazi did it

And when it was finished

They apologized

Then they had to get

The jews out of europe

Cuz' they secretly knew 

It would be a disaster

To have them in their own

European lands

So they gave the land they didn't own

They gave palestine away

And it was not their right to do so

But they did it

And the new land was called Israel

After all these years

Israel is now doing the same thing

To mostly muslim, Palestinians

Nazis before did to them

And they didn't learn a lesson

I STONGLY REPEAT

THEY DID NOT LEARN, ANYTHING!!

Now, I don't know what will happen

Only GOD knows

But I know that this will be punished

Mostly jews, Israelians

Will be punished

In a way that we all will be watching

Or will be experiencing

Because we got BLOOD in our hands!!

My heart is not in ease at all

It is very uncomfortable

It is EUROPE and USA 

Who sent the jews to the middleast

With or without knowing

That NO ONE CAN OWN A THING

In this world

We DIE AND WE GO EMPTY HEANDED

It doesn't matter for them

The west thouth they OWNED palestine

They gave it away to the jews

But Nah Nah Nah

They just got BLOOD on their hands

And that darling

is the WORST thing

You can do

and be silent about

I just really want

Them to know

Nothing will be left

Unpunished!

a pearl blue

I am traveling again

I went to see my parents

They are fine, the same

But I am not

I have changed

More than I knew

Now I am leaving

Don't want to listen to

A song or something

Cuz I am afraid

I will start to cry

The sea is blue

A real pale blue

Just like me

But I wanna be white

Just like the clouds

For that I must be warm

And it's not that easy

But when I meet the sun

I may be like the clouds

Swimming up on the sky

Real pearl white

I am waiting

I will be waiting...

You think I am gone cuz I left

But I am in threes I am in the wind

I am everywhere all around

And you cant catch me now

I wanted to go back

You cant catch me now

I was gonna go back

To my memories

My old life

Myself

You cant cath me now

I wanted to

But you could catch me

And I dont want it to be

I just dont understand

How they can be so unemphatic

Pathetic dumpass liars

I dont understand how they like

The money they get from my tears

From a thousand of tears

They get power and money

And be glad?

I will never understand

moving through space and time

Life is fast these days

I see everything around me

But I am moving slowly

I wish I could understand why...

Waiting for something takes

Many years to me

When it actually takes some minutes

So maybe I shouldn't wait

Yeah, if I won't wait

Maybe time would go as normal

But I wouldn't know 

Faster or slower, it goes

Me and time, we can't agree

We just move

Just like space moves

Through time

I move just like it 

Cuz I take space in this universe

And I love it

little rice in the brain

These days I am changing

Constantly, like acceleration

An object has an acceleration 

Only when its speed is in change

I am fast sometimes

Or I was very fast

Now I slowed down

Before I would cry 

I couldn't stop it, I would want to

But I couldn't

These days I can't cry

I want to, but I can't

Not longer than some seconds

Then I ask,

What is happening?

Am I changing again?

And I got the answer 

When I opened this blog

YES, I AM

Every time I write here I change

Or I am in a phase of acceleration

Things feel not real

I don't know what to do

I am overthinking and it 

Lead to, me being overwhelmed

If i could just let my mind be free

Just for once, without a care

I care too much about everything

I wish I was more careless

But I see people and their carelessness

And feel like I  just can't be 

another domino brick like them 

I gotta be different and not fit in

Because I can't, litteraly

And it's totally fine, but I feel lost

Am I making a wrong desicion

While I fall in love?

Will there be difficulties...

Not simple, but core differences 

That will lead us to break up?

Beacuse, THERE ARE CORE DIFFERENCES

Like our beliefs

And our lifestyle

Actually we have the same lifestyle

But not the same ambitions

Or the same stubbornness

I work work work

He sleeps, chills, eats

I eat work work chill sleep 

He works eats works sleeps

We start to be like eachother

And it's a good thing

But I am questioning everything

I don't know if this is a good desicion

I might never know though

Do I love him?

Yes, with my everything.

What is this voice inside my head?

It is me, asking reasonable questions

I should listen, but I don't need to worry.

As I said, These days I am changing

Just like every day

All the time

That's life isn't it?

Heartbeating

I feel like days go so slow in your absence

But they pass as fast as normal

It feels like I am wasting them tough

Every day without you is a waste of time

But I won't say it to you

 I'll just write it down here

And wait for your return

I wish there was a way to teleport me

Into your big soft arms

Where I feel most at peace

I wish i couls kiss your eyes

Your deep ocean blue eyes

And I wish I could kiss your lips

Your strawberry pinkish red lips

Untill I see you again

All I can do is try to enjoy life

While I ache to talk to you

While I ache to hug you

While I ache to kiss you

And the most heartbreaking 

And heartwarming thing is

That you feel the same...

Missing

In English we say: 

I miss you and 

I can't wait to see you.

But in poetry we say:

The days stretch like 

how the sea stretches endlessly 

when traveling by the sea 

Each one aching with your absence. 

Each one aching without you.

My heart holds its breath, 

counting down moments until I get to see you again,

When the horizon fades, I see you, and

When distance fades, we are whole.

everything is entropy

I thought I could be better

But I realized that I can't

Maybe being myself is enough

I don't need to be more

Sometimes you got to let it go

Let it flow cuz' life is not

A thousand years for us humans

We only roughly have a hundred

We should live it as good as we can

The circumstances are weird

Some people are born in the middle

Of a war and some are born into

The richest families in the world

I don't know why the world is so unfair

Why it's so cruel and sometimes meaningless

But that's why I wanna believe in a afterworld

There must be one, because I don't like this one

I hate this world and love it so much

It is good but very bad at the same time

Can be very cruel but very heavenly too

And I don't like it

But I like it

I just want everyone to behave themselves

And don't kill other people

Or just live life simple

And smile and live you know!

So many people shoot other people

WHY?

SO MANY KILL EACHOTHER FOR WHAT?

ThEiR hOnOr well FUCK THEIR HONOR

I don't understand the concept or the need of it!

Can't we just live this short life and pass in peace...

Maybe nothing can be better...

Neigher me nor the world...

Entropy says that everything goes towards chaos

A system that is in order will always

ALWAYS SEEK FOR CHAOS

Maybe that's why

Maybe thats why...

Sometimes I want a house that

Has the best location

And that has a wonderful view

Because I would love to see

The same amazing view

Every day I wake up

Right?

But also

I would get bored after a while

It would be normal for me 

After a while

So actually

Absence of that view

Would make me want to go out

And when I see an amazing view

I would be amazed more

I think I can connect this with

Being with people you love

Sometimes you need some distance

To appreciate eachother more

When you meet up again...

I miss him so much

But it will be worth it 

When we meet again

When i'll meet his amazing view

I will be amazed more than I ever would

Because I miss him...

Min amethyststein

Du er som en amethyststein

Folk tror du er bare en vanlig stein

Men hvis de kan finne 

det som er inn i steinen,

Det som er inn i deg

Det skjønne som skinner

Da skjønner de hva du er

Hvem du er og hva du gjør

Fordi du er som en amethyststein

Du skinner bare for

De som finner deg 

Ruby and Sapphire

The way you looked at me

With your sky blue eyes

They said many things

Some i understood

But some i didn't

You're mysterious

And I want to understand

I think we just need time

And I don't want to forget

Your beautiful smile

So I will do everything

To make you smile.

You're sapphire

To my ruby

And I want you

To be happy ...

I missed you quietly today

Even though I smiled

And had a good time

I thought of you today

I know we both changed 

And we are not what

We used to be

But still,

I missed you, 

Quietly...

Ai Ai Captain LeMerica

There's a guy out there

He lightens up the room

When he is in there

He has a very loud laugh

But his laugh makes 

everyone else laugh too

And beacuse of him 

None of the classes are boring

And because of him

Everyone feels welcomed

And because of him

The teachers feel weird

And beacuse of HIM

The teacher looks at our direction

Because he laughs at the tiniest things

And the teacher thinks that

We're making fun of him

And in fact we do, when you think about it

But you know, whatever,  it's just a semester

And he laughs at the tiniest things

And that's something very few of us do...

penalty of being a greek god

This cheap language we call english

I write in english with my poor vocabulary

But I wish I knew more words and phares

So that I could romanticize him

So he is not a crush, just a beautiful friend

Litteraly, I love his topaz eyes

He's got real honey like eyes!

Like where would you see that on earth?!

Maybe on heaven, or something?

I am not finished, he's got always,

ALWAYS pink cheeks! 

They get very red when he talks to people

He is naturally shy...

By the way he has red-ish lips

I feel like I am talking about a woman here

I wanna know his mom

She must be very beautiful

He has butterscotch hair

Which looks like normal brown at first

But outside it shines!

Lol, it's like golden honey

I don't know, he is just beautiful

Like a girl is beautiful

I am stunned every time I see him

But I don't LOVE him 

Love is different

I just admire his looks

And I think many people does too

Bad for him, it will be difficult to find 

Someone who really loves him

For who really is

That's the penaly of being beautiful

autumn

Its 5 am

I can't sleep

I love autumn

And it starts today

I am excited 

I am actually not tired

As I said

I can't sleep

One of the things I realized

Is that norwegian people won't sit 

Beside me on the bus

I guess it's because of my etnicity

I don't blame them

But why do I feel heartbroken?

For the first time in my blog career

I opened the paper

And I have no idea what to write

It's like, there is so much to write 

Everything is happening so fast

And I need to get this out 

Well, it turns out that my family and I

We are not that well getting along

I can't share everything with them

I don't feel free to speak

I gotta say "yeah, yeah..I'm fine..

Regular old..surviving"

I feel like, they don't really wanna know

They got their own lives

I've got mine now

I just...

I just have...

no one to share it with...

And it's a little bit boring I guess

Like all the walls are getting near me

Nearer and nearer, making me nervous

I feel trapped in this state

I don't think anyone cares

I feel like no one cares about me

And I fit in, in a way

But also I litteraly DON'T fit in

At all...

I don't know what to feel at this point

Because I should be happy

I dreamt about this

Now it is happening

I am not sad though

I just feel empty

I didn't hug anyone for some time now

I love hugs and kisses

I guess I miss them

Very much

A boy touched my shoulder today

I was in this jazz club

And like, I litteraly wanted to hug him

BUT I JUST MET HIM 

I think that sums up how much I miss hugs

Maybe what I lack is love

Affection and someone 

who understands me

This is a new life, so it is normal to be lost

I know no one and 

now I get to know people

I will know them in a while

And this will be my new normal

But this emptiness

I know it

It's just me, 

Being the enemy.

In my own story 

Again...

To myself

You are feeling something right now

You fell in love

Again, 

Don't try to push it away

Don't try to get away from it

Just feel what you got to feel

If it ends up with heartbreak

Feel that too!

If you love roses, 

you have to put up with its spikes

If you like to learn something new

You got to fail first

This is the rule 

And has been the rule for a long time

And the pain won't last forever 

'Cause WE don't even live forever!

Don't try to rush things

When it comes to feelings

Just go with the flow 

Only then you'll know

If it's is meant for you

Or what's not!

Maybe try to not cure yourself very fast

Feel the heartbreak so that you will think 

More wisely next time you start to feel the sparks

That is the way it should be but

The society is different nowadays

We get into a relationship then get bored

And we jump into the others

What about love?

What about loyalty?

What about the one?

I really wonder if there is one person..

That I will litteraly click with

And I wonder if one day I will say

"Yepp, that one, I wanna bring an 

Eternitiy with them"

I don't know

The flow is very slow

Maybe that's a good thing :)