I think i am on the right way..

I realised something

My father is smart

He thinks fast

He acts fast

Always a problem solver

But he ain't brave

He wont live life to the fullest

My mother is funny

She acts goofy

She doesn't care too much 

Always lives life to the fullest

But she ain't smart

She can't solve problems in a lightspeed

I, on the other hand..

I have my fathers wisdom

I have my mothers bravery

I can do whatever i want actually...

I can be both smart and live life to the fullest...

Maybe this is why people ask;

Is she crazy or smart??

Maybe thats why!!

I just learned that 

According to Einstein's theory of relativity

All versions of me 

Happen

At the same time

Because his theory itself is about

That time is not a constant

It is a variable

And if you think about it

If there were people living on a planet

Doesn't have to be humans

But they have to have a brain

And a heart

In order to understand and do research

However, if they lived

1 lightyear away from us

In their perspective.. we would be doing 

The things we were doing exactly A YEAR AGO

They don't have any source to access the information about what is happening actually 

Right now here on earth

They would have to wait for a year to see it

But we would be doing other things anyways

Because it has been a year 

So what I mean is that

When you do something 

From the perspective of 

Various observers from

All across the universe

Who lives in various lightyears away from you

You are not just doing that thing

But a bunch of different other things as well

And all of them are true!

You are what you have done,

What you are doing right now,

And what you will do in the future...

(PS. This is why you shouldn't practice for a math exam for a whole day XD)

Time to make a new playlist!

You know what

I just realized

I keep all my old playlists

Even if I don't listen to the songs

Isn't it so dumb

How I'm so numb

I don't even feel anything

I don't wanna feel the songs

Anymore

Listening to a song for ten seconds 

Then adding it to my playlist

I never finish listening

I just add the song to that playlist

I felt like I didn't have time

That's why

I felt like I could find more interesting music

Than listening to the song I had found and enjoy it

But I realized that I'm not even grateful for

the song I'm listening to RIGHT NOW

What is the meaning of having it on a playlist

If I don't even give it the time to enjoy it

I should have playlists where I have songs

That I really like to listen to

And don't lie to myself 

Saying that I like that song and I will listen to it

Because I will not

I didn't even listen for more than ten seconds

I just found it interesting but I don't know how it ends

First, I have to get to know this new song

patiently

Because love craves patience

Then if I love the song

I can add it to my playlist

Because it doesn't deserve a place in my playlist

If I will always skip it

Just to listen to other songs...

I guess it was so similar to my social life...

I kept too many of my old friends in my mind

That I couldn't enjoy or be grateful for what I had

BACK THEN

Hopefully, that girl died a long time ago...

I guess she died a year ago

Weird that it has been so long

I don't think about her anymore

My Ex-best friend

Or, now I am thinking about her

We were best friends 

But I had to leave her

All my life I left

No one left me

It was always like this

I'm used to it now

I'm used to many things

Now I know

I can feel it when it's time for me to go

This is my lifestyle now

I don't think I can stay in a place for long

Every bird can fly

They are free

But they are also lonely

Loneliness is the price you have to pay

For liberty...

Belki...Bir gün

Belki başka bir

hayatta buluşuruz

seninle yine

mutlu yaşarız

o zaman....

It might be the rain

Why sadness again?

It might be the rain

Making me sad

Or maybe my dreams

that never come true

Home? Wait...What was that again?

I've been thinking a lot lately

about something that bothered me

all my life...

I don't feel quite at home

Anywhere I go

I realized that I'm searching

For that feeling

Again and again

Sometimes I feel it just for a second

Then it vanishes

I don't feel like I belong here

I just realized that when I'm dreaming

I feel a belonging

This is why I don't wanna wake up

The only thing that I did not leave 

Or that did not leave me

are my dreams

Knowing that everything around me is temporary

Terrifies me

But also

Since I will leave at some point

I know that I have to make the best out of it

And live in the moment

But at the same time 

I don't wanna do anything

Cuz I will leave anyways

This dilemma was always in my mind

It might be in my mind forever

I am used to it, so that's not the problem

The problem is...

I don't know what to do

I'm confused

But what I do know is

That, in order to live

I have to keep going

So doing nothing

Is a source of depression

That's what I've learned 

Until now.

Lovely

Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again 

- this is the brave and happy life.

- this is why i am not afraid to fall in love anymore...