Be weird and happy

 Do you ever look in the mirror?

And you start to do weird grimaces

You laugh like hell

Continue to do those weird faces

You come out of your shell

I see myself 

I see a smiling face

very VERY dumb looking

I see a younger and an older version of myself

And I love all versions

Why am I so happy?

Is it because I give enough space

To think, to feel, and to process my feelings

Everyone needs that

Everyone needs time to figure things out

We will figure it out as we go

Maybe I don't know

We will figure it out

as we go...

Now I remember a song 

"figure it out"

Looks like it's all about to change
Life is such a funny, stupid game
You say the word and I'll say the same
Maybe we can just run away

Can't always see way down the road
Too busy looking at the trees out my window

And we'll make it all up as we go
And you crashed the party right on time
Just as the music died and on came the lights
So help me up, bring me back to life

Maybe I don't know, 
We all just figure it out as we go
'Cause no one really knows, 
We all just figure it out as we go

And I don't know why

But this song fits my vibe

right now...

Beyim Aragorn ve ben

 A wise man once said to me;

Don't be sad about the things 

you can not control

Sometimes you just have to let it be

I said;

It is an easy and wise thing to say

But is it easy to do it?

Then he said;

No, it is not

But knowing what I said

It can give you some courage

And show you that you are not in charge

I asked;

Who is in charge then?

I want to talk to them

So that they can change 

the sad things 

Happening

Then he replied;

That is a big goal

for a little young woman

I like your thought 

But things won't work like that

in this world

I insisted;

Who said I wanted to meet them 

in this world?

I could meet them in another dimension

Maybe in my dreams

Or somewhere else

But I need to meet them

So I can make a change

He said then, thoughtfully;

18-year-olds...

They always think they can change the world

How everything works

It's cruelty

They are innocent

But it won't last my darling

Don't worry

Unfortunately, this won't last long

Live in the moment

Until the silence

I ended enthusiastically;

Big goals can lead to small changes

Small changes can lead to bigger changes

Bigger changes can lead to controlling 

Everywhere, Anytime, Always

Soon...

- Beyim Aragorn ve ben...

Gibberish :]

I feel something on my stomach

I think I've got a bellyache

Maybe it's that feeling

Again I feel it

It is as if a part of me is missing

Also, I feel like it is completely hissing

You know when the universe is calling

You can hear it, with all of you listening

I feel my old wounds are aching

maybe I'm just faking

do I seek attention 

or do I seek redemption  

I hear a sound

From my childhood

I begin to feel emotional

Or maybe I am just conceptional

As if I fall from grace

Perhaps the beginning of an end 

My poetic soul in the class

You are just a little bug

Why do we even hug?

I see someone is crying

Why do I feel like I'm dying?

That someone might be the child in me

But I can't see her anymore with me

Why do I even bother to write

When I know that everything have an end.

Party with your fears

Right now I am too emotional

Time is moving so fast

I can't do anything to stop it 

Or at least to slow it down

I just want to cry it out 

I can't do that either

I don't know why

You know, it's a feeling

I just can't explain

It comes when I am alone

I feel many things at the same time

Helpless and hopeless

As if I am all alone

The first time I felt this was

When I was in prison in Greece

Yeah, I was in a prison

I did not do anything wrong though

Or did I ?

Maybe we all did, my family

What am I saying...

We escaped from a place

Where we felt like we did not belong

The thing is 

I don't have

A belonging sense 

Anymore...

This might be the reason

Why I feel so alone

Hopeless and helpless

Because I don't belong anywhere.

I don't belong with my family,

I don't belong to any country,

I do not belong to anybody.

It's just me; myself

I don't even belong to myself.

What am I saying...

I escape from the reality

I have a family

I have friends and loved ones

But then, WHY?

Why do I feel this?

This feeling.

I just CANNOT 

F*cKiNg ExpLaIN!!!

I will maybe try again.

Maybe I can associate it

With something normal...

You know that feeling

When you watch a series

Then you watch the final episode ever

You got a weird feeling

As if someone you care about died

This is it

The feeling I have in me...

Not that someone I care about died

But that feeling when something is finished

Forever, and ever

My brain can't process that

Maybe this is it

Maybe I feel like I can't go to Turkey anymore

As if I will never see my relatives there

Or neither see the same race as me

All gathered

I think I need a feeling of belonging

But I don't think I will ever have that

So I just have to learn how to

dance with it...

If my brain can't process that;

If I think too much

I will dance in the dark

All alone

completely silent

My five senses are gone

I am 

Just there

Existing

Partying with my fears...

Honestly I care and act

Sometimes I feel like my poetic side is awakened

I may write depressive thoughts I had

Maybe I write too honest

But there is nothing to be concerned 

I am just learning how to concede myself

When will I ever not be concerned about people though?

I wouldn't write this poem now if I was relaxed

I would think, "Nah, I don't have an impact"

Every human has an impact in fact

This is why I care and act

Alonely

Why feel so lonely

When you know you're not the only one

Surrounded by people 

Who always know better

Why feel so lonely

You can feel the company

Surrounded by an energy

You can't exactly explain

Why do you feel alone

Everyone share their home

But you don't feel at home

You are rather far away from 

Would you ever feel not alone

Considering you've blown away

Left me with memories, I can't get away

Though I never felt home

Would I even feel accompanied

When I'm not capable of

True, and naive love

When I'm not able to

Feel not lonely

- Meia (original)