I think i am on the right way..

I realised something

My father is smart

He thinks fast

He acts fast

Always a problem solver

But he ain't brave

He wont live life to the fullest

My mother is funny

She acts goofy

She doesn't care too much 

Always lives life to the fullest

But she ain't smart

She can't solve problems in a lightspeed

I, on the other hand..

I have my fathers wisdom

I have my mothers bravery

I can do whatever i want actually...

I can be both smart and live life to the fullest...

Maybe this is why people ask;

Is she crazy or smart??

Maybe thats why!!

I just learned that 

According to Einstein's theory of relativity

All versions of me 

Happen

At the same time

Because his theory itself is about

That time is not a constant

It is a variable

And if you think about it

If there were people living on a planet

Doesn't have to be humans

But they have to have a brain

And a heart

In order to understand and do research

However, if they lived

1 lightyear away from us

In their perspective.. we would be doing 

The things we were doing exactly A YEAR AGO

They don't have any source to access the information about what is happening actually 

Right now here on earth

They would have to wait for a year to see it

But we would be doing other things anyways

Because it has been a year 

So what I mean is that

When you do something 

From the perspective of 

Various observers from

All across the universe

Who lives in various lightyears away from you

You are not just doing that thing

But a bunch of different other things as well

And all of them are true!

You are what you have done,

What you are doing right now,

And what you will do in the future...

(PS. This is why you shouldn't practice for a math exam for a whole day XD)

Time to make a new playlist!

You know what

I just realized

I keep all my old playlists

Even if I don't listen to the songs

Isn't it so dumb

How I'm so numb

I don't even feel anything

I don't wanna feel the songs

Anymore

Listening to a song for ten seconds 

Then adding it to my playlist

I never finish listening

I just add the song to that playlist

I felt like I didn't have time

That's why

I felt like I could find more interesting music

Than listening to the song I had found and enjoy it

But I realized that I'm not even grateful for

the song I'm listening to RIGHT NOW

What is the meaning of having it on a playlist

If I don't even give it the time to enjoy it

I should have playlists where I have songs

That I really like to listen to

And don't lie to myself 

Saying that I like that song and I will listen to it

Because I will not

I didn't even listen for more than ten seconds

I just found it interesting but I don't know how it ends

First, I have to get to know this new song

patiently

Because love craves patience

Then if I love the song

I can add it to my playlist

Because it doesn't deserve a place in my playlist

If I will always skip it

Just to listen to other songs...

I guess it was so similar to my social life...

I kept too many of my old friends in my mind

That I couldn't enjoy or be grateful for what I had

BACK THEN

Hopefully, that girl died a long time ago...

I guess she died a year ago

Weird that it has been so long

I don't think about her anymore

My Ex-best friend

Or, now I am thinking about her

We were best friends 

But I had to leave her

All my life I left

No one left me

It was always like this

I'm used to it now

I'm used to many things

Now I know

I can feel it when it's time for me to go

This is my lifestyle now

I don't think I can stay in a place for long

Every bird can fly

They are free

But they are also lonely

Loneliness is the price you have to pay

For liberty...

Belki...Bir gün

Belki başka bir

hayatta buluşuruz

seninle yine

mutlu yaşarız

o zaman....

It might be the rain

Why sadness again?

It might be the rain

Making me sad

Or maybe my dreams

that never come true

Home? Wait...What was that again?

I've been thinking a lot lately

about something that bothered me

all my life...

I don't feel quite at home

Anywhere I go

I realized that I'm searching

For that feeling

Again and again

Sometimes I feel it just for a second

Then it vanishes

I don't feel like I belong here

I just realized that when I'm dreaming

I feel a belonging

This is why I don't wanna wake up

The only thing that I did not leave 

Or that did not leave me

are my dreams

Knowing that everything around me is temporary

Terrifies me

But also

Since I will leave at some point

I know that I have to make the best out of it

And live in the moment

But at the same time 

I don't wanna do anything

Cuz I will leave anyways

This dilemma was always in my mind

It might be in my mind forever

I am used to it, so that's not the problem

The problem is...

I don't know what to do

I'm confused

But what I do know is

That, in order to live

I have to keep going

So doing nothing

Is a source of depression

That's what I've learned 

Until now.

Lovely

Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again 

- this is the brave and happy life.

- this is why i am not afraid to fall in love anymore...

Pick her up from her cave

I want time to stop

It makes me sad

Every time I look at the clock

The time went so fast again

I am wasting my time

On things I both want to 

and don't want to do

But they feel like a waste of time anyways

Every day is a waste

It feels like

I don't know why

It shouldn't be like this

I am just living 

right?

This is what life is?

I am waiting for death

Not slowly either, 

Time flows faster than ever

I hate it

I wanna cry it out

Looking at the sky

Breathing in 

Breathing out

This is what I need right now

Some peace

Destress 

Find where the tiny little girl 

Who once was me

Where is she hiding again?

Pick her up from her cave

And go on a picnic with her

It's the first thing I wanna do...

My apologies Welhaven, Long live Wergeland!

My apologies Welhaven,

Long live Wergeland!

How dare you decide 

What is good poetry and bad poetry 

Just because its structure is spontaneous

As if you were born by choice

Life itself is spontaneous

Poetry is nothing you can put into boxes

Its nothing you can cut from here and there

Every precious word you put in is welcome

Of course, there should be rhymes

Of course, it is good to learn how to write poetry

But don't you dare judge me about how I convey my message

Because all poets have their own language for speaking

And life would be quite boring if everyone spoke the same language

That's why;

My apologies Welhaven,

Long live Wergeland!

And then they have to go... this is the way life is...

She said;

Sometimes special people come into our lives,

stay for a bit

And then they have to go

The little girl said;

But that's sad...

Then she replied;

It is

But the bit where they were in, was happy 

Wasn't it?

The tiny girl nodded;

Yeah..

We had a lot of fun together

She said thoughtfully;

Maybe that makes it all worth it...

My friend asked me;

Isn't sad?

I said;

What?

He said;

How the things that we often wanna forget

Are the things that once made us the happiest

...

Note from Meia;

Today I am making the decision to let go

Of the things that are in the past

Yes, they were happy memories

Yes, I wanted them to last forever

BUT

No, they did not last forever

No, I will never experience the exact same thing again

BUT

I can make new and happier memories

Nothing ever lasts forever anyways

I am letting go happily 

Time to quote

Jack;

To live life,

you need problems

Bmo;

Thats so stupid

Jack; 

If you get everything you want,

The minute you want it,

What's the point of livin'?

Bmo;

When god gives you a new beginning,

It starts with an ending.

Be thankful for closed doors,

they often guide us to the right ones.

If there is any kind of magic in this world,

It must be in the attempt of understanding someone,

sharing something.

I know. it's almost impossible to succeed.

But... who cares really?

The answer must be in the attempt.

Four sentences that make you rethink your life:

#1 Happiness is not the absence of problems, it is the ability to deal with them.

#2 Feeling sad after making a decision doesn't mean it was the wrong decision.

#3 You're not stressed because you're doing too much; you are stressed because you are doing too little, of what makes you feel most alive

#4 The lesson you struggle with, will repeat itself until you learn from it.

Sometimes you learn more from mistakes,

Than you do from trying so hard.

So anytime you make a mistake,

Before you get upset with it,

Look at it.

Sometimes those mistakes,

Turn out to be the best learning devices we have.

History repeats,

Create the Future.

~Bob Ross

Isn't it funny when they think you're the problem

So you fall back

And they still have the same problems

It's like you're at peace

while they're in pieces.

How ironic :)

So be picky

Be intentional about the people you choose to call yours

Don't waste time on a love that is not mutual

Don't trip over your feet chasing people who aren't for you.

Be picky

Be aware of the value of your energy;

spend it doing the things that take your breath away

Only walk down roads that your soul is screaming at you to take

Be picky

Recognize the truth that this,

All of this is temporary

Rely on the rarity of every inhale and exhale you take,

Allow the anomaly of your every breath to propel you to the realization

That not a single moment should be wasted

Soulmates come in the form of friends too

It's not just about romance

Sometimes it's your best friend

Who makes you feel whole

And who understands you the most

While the rest of the world

Doesn't understand you at all

- Does it get easier?

~No...

~Yes.

- Oh, yeah?

~ It gets easier

~ The more you know who you are

~ And what you want

~ The less you let things upset you...

Who's your purple?

Purple is someone who 

came into your life &

Made it better by simply

being there, they make 

you feel good & your life

wouldn't be the same 

without them...

Some people are just good people,

And you can just feel it.

I don't know how to explain that,

But there's like the little spark they have,

Or this little special thing that they have.

You just feel safe and happy around them...

To my Gemstone "Antarcticpoet"

Today;

I learned that talking and communicating 

has actually nothing to do with understanding

To understand someone; you have to be them

You have to put yourself in their shoes

Feel their feelings and act with their feelings

Be their guide through these times

Let them be your guide through your tough times

Let them understand you so that they can

understand themselves

It has nothing to do with the language

It doesn't matter if it's not your native language

Cuz' what we're all humans are searching for

Is someone who is experiencing the same situation

We are experiencing

Or someone who uses empathy so wisely

As if they are experiencing it with you

The happiness, the sadness, the anger

That someone, my friend

Never let them go

Cuz' they're a shiny gemstone

And there are millions of people

Not knowing it.

Cuz' they hide under the ground

And find themselves a cozy spot

Waiting someone for finding them

Know that you are lucky

If you find them

Treat them gently

If you love them

Let them be free

If you want them

Cry with them

If you feel them

Laugh with them

If you vibe with them

Cuz' they were a shiny gemstone

Ready to be found

Now they are found

Amethyst, Pink Diamond,

Garnet, Byzmuth...

Can be any of them

But they are found

They have a value

Thus every piece of them 

Is very important and true

There was silence for a moment

There was someone 

I liked talking to

We climbed up high stairs

It was so cozy with 

All the deep conversations

I looked down and got a feeling

I wanted to jump 

Then began to talk about it

Because it's what I do 

I talk about everything that pops into my mind

"Sometimes, I wanna know how it feels to die" I said 

"I wanna know it so bad that I wanna jump off this building"

There was silence for a moment

I will never forget what he said

"Yeah, you could do that;

Or live your short life and have fun on the earth

while it lasts and then die. Because you will,

Eventually..."

This added a new philosophical perspective

For living, and continuing to live

Cuz it's not easy to live on earth

experiencing every possible emotion

Sometimes death seems like a shortcut

I'll die anyway

The answer is always no

If you don't have the balls to ask

We are tough

Cuz we are brave enough

To ask

Even if we know the answer

might be bad

or make us sad

and mad

And I'll die anyway

So I don't care

If the answer is bad.

Kindness will change the world

I wish I could say how much I love you

I can not put it into words

Even if I would say that to you

That would make things a lot harder for you

This is why I am silent

I trust time to make me feel better

Despite not knowing if I got any time left

I feel like wasting it

I shouldn't be stressed about this

Neither be impatient

Life just finds a way to make me 

stressed and impatient though

This lowers my quality of life

My well being

My mental health

My whole situation

I shouldn't make a big issue out of this

But so, why can't I stop thinking about you??

I just want to stop thinking about you

Maybe then I can concentrate on the tasks to be done

I just want to think about you

Maybe then I can free myself from this pain

As you may have realized,

I am so confused

I may rest for a while

After all exams and finals

I will set myself free

Maybe then I can think properly

About things happening around me

Maybe then I can act a little bit more normal

Because i know that people don't see me as a normal person

They would talk to me normally if they thought so

Or, what am I writing

They are the insane ones

I am the one trying to be nice to them

What do I get in return?

Being ignored

Silently excluded

Seeing me as a minority

Thinking that they have power

Thinking that I am lower

Gossiping around about my grades

Gossip about every f'*cking thing I do

I do not listen though

I do not have eyes

I do not have ears

I do not want to see or listen

This is why I survive 

Still.

Why am I writing so dramatically?

Because I am kind of sick of not being dramatic!

This is a F*CKING PROBLEM and if you don't want to read it

Then don't f*cking care!

Life is not easy, OK?

It is tough, and writing my thoughts here 

actually makes life bearable 

Or else I'm literally gonna explode

I can't tolerate this anymore

It has been 5 years

Since people looked at me with weird faces all the time

Since they excluded me and ignored me

I remember in my home country

Being in a class, and having a lot of friends

I was never popular 

I never wanted to be popular to be honest

I never ever liked popular school kids

I was always climbing up on trees

Or running around with my friends

Asking people if they need help

Try to talk to people who were being ignored

I was always by their side

I was kind

And I know that one day

Kindness will change the world

Have a great day

If you read this

Future me, I hope you are doing well

I hope you don't feel alone

Because the truth is

You are not

You were never alone

And never will be

Because there will always be bossy people around

And you will ask them politely to be polite

If they won't want to cooperate with you

I know you will kick their ass

I mean verbally XD

There will always be a younger version of yourself

Trusting you, helping you, supporting you, cheering you up

So trust me, trust yourself

Everything's gonna be okay

Everything's gonna be all right

Breathe.

Breathe..

Breathe...

Don't be serious

Don't worry

Be happy 

La LAA lalalalaaaaa

Lalalalaal Laaaaa

Vodefone daaaa

I feel sad

I feel bad

LALLALAAALL

I think I actually need therapy

Maybe not, but idk 

Everyone is taking everything so seriously all the time

I think I need to relax

And don't worry

Be happy

I feel like this world is not fair

I feel like this concept does not fit me

Idk

Maybe I feel 

Nothing at all